She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
