what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
