she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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