Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You have to summon your inner elephant
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize