but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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