Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
