There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You've changed since you got that strap on
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
