No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
