Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
