p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
