Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
