dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize