they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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