How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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