Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize