Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
