Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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