I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So much Jack, so little girl.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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