A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
