So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
