dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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