I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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