but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
