I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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