wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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