I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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