just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
