Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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