did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize