I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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