Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
