At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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