Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
