But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
