SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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