I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
