so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
