I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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