Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
