I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
