Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize