I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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