We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
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omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
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I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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