new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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