She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
