Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize