piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
