I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
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Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
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And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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