Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
