im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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