Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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