I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
