haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize