i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Randomize
